By: Steve Wang

Sometimes parents and children have communication issues. Parents sometimes do not know what kids want and kids sometimes do not know what parents want. Therefore a research has been done on the different views of people from different generations.

To research this, the researcher interview two people one who is a kid, whom I will refer to as subject 1, with about 16 years of experience being a kid. The other is a parent, whom I refer to as subject 2, with more the other 20 years of experience. It is important to note that both subjects have no blood relations to with other. After finding both of these individuals, each experienced in their fields. The interviewer then interviewed each person separately. The interviewer interviewed subject 1 via voice call and subject 2 in person. They were asked about their views on topics that parents and their children sometimes have different views about. These things include getting a phone, social media, romantic partners, and schooling.

The basic data comparison from the interview is recorded here.

* Give Reasoning for each of the things said and see if can add more info *

First, the specifics of the data gotten from subject 1 will be discussed. She thought it would not be unnecessary for a kid to go to university if they had something they wanted to do. And, if the kid does have something they want to do, parents should not force the kid to go to university instead, the kid should be given the choice. However, if the kid does not have something to do, the kid should go to university. Next, we talked about when is the right age for a child should get a phone. She thought that the right time is around grade 4 or 5 because if they are denied the use of phones, they might want to use them even more when they grow up. However, they should be allowed to use their phones but be controlled to around 1 to 2 hours a day. It was also mentioned that they could use their phones more if necessary. Another part of a child who is growing up to be an adult is dating. That was also a topic that was discussed. She expressed that a high school-aged child or older should be allowed to date. When that happens, parents should not interfere. Parents should be the person giving advice and not interfering because it is not their place to act. We then moved on to social media. Specifically when a child should start using social media. She did not specify an age. Instead, she said the kid should be enough to know not to leak sensitive information. When asked about what are the main concerns of using social media, she responded by saying that the main concern is privacy. Otherwise, there is not that much to be too worried about, and thought that the positives of social media outweigh the negatives. Her reason is that most people use it so most people probably think so. Lastly, we talked about when is the right age for a child should be moving out. Again, she did not provide a specific age. She said that they could move out when they are responsible enough to do so. If the child is not responsible enough to do so, the parents have to stop them. Also, if the child cannot provide for themselves yet, the parents should help pay for their expenses.

The data obtained from subject 2 will now be recorded here. First, we also talked about university. He felt that university was necessary. He explained that people who go to university have a huge advantage over those who do not. During university, a child can learn how to socialize and become independent. He also expressed that the final choice should still be left with the kid but, he would strongly suggest going. He then added that the child could also wait a year or two before going. The kid could then use that time to do something else. We then moved on to the topic of when a child should get a phone. He felt that a child could be given a smartphone when entering high school but can be given one earlier if necessary. He felt that with a phone, a kid might get addicted and not be safe outside. He also deemed it necessary to use the time control functions in the phone and felt that the kid only deserves to have an hour of screen time. The interviewer then brought up another big point in a child's life, finding a romantic partner. He thought a child should only get a romantic partner in University or the child might get distracted from studies and parents. He also thought that parents do not need to stop the child because if they tried the children would find another way. Nevertheless, he thought that parents should still be there to talk to their children about it if necessary. Moving on to the topic of social media, he thought that the negatives outweigh the positives and a child should only start using (must go confirm if he means posting) these things in University. Before that time, it is unnecessary. He believed that when the kid is in university, no time limit would be necessary. Lastly, the topic of a kid moving out was discussed. He believed that university is the youngest age a child should move out and when the kid is studying, the parent should pay. When the kid does move out, he would not control where the kid lives and will only force the kid to move out if the kid's actions are affecting his life.

Add reasons why subjects might think this way

When comparing the results, the researcher decided on using Maslow's Hierarchy of needs which are closely related to human psychology. According to (Mcleod, 2022),“ Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a motivational theory in psychology comprising a five-tier model of human needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are: physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security), love and belonging needs (friendship), esteem, and self-actualization.”

When looking at the data collected from subject 1, it can be said that she cares most about the safety needs level of Maslow's hierarchy. For example, when thinking about the amount of time one should spend looking at a phone, she thought about eyesight. When thinking about children using social media, she thought about privacy. She fears that sensitive information might be leaked. When thinking about a child moving out, she thinks about if the child is responsible and if it is heavily related to the safety of the child. To clarify, by responsible enough, subject 1 means a stable, mature, mentally-well adult that can take care of themselves. Subject 1 may be thinking from this layer because she might feel that her future is not secure yet and is worried about it. She also might not have been old enough to have thought about these things yet or has not experienced enough to form her own opinion on the matter. To summarize, the child might not have thought about some of these things yet because she is not a parent. However, it may also be the case that she is flexible. She does not judge people based on their physical age but on their mental maturity.

When looking at the data collected from subject 2. He is thinking more from the self-actualization layer. Each of the answers stems from helping the child grow to the child's full potential. This conclusion is drawn from looking at 4 different parts, the age at which a child should get a smartphone, the age where a child should move out, the age where a child can get a romantic partner, and the age where a child should be able to use social media. The one similarity is, that parent does not want their child to be distracted from their studies. This parent might be thinking from a self-actualization point of view because he has lived through more than 40 years of his life and can help a child with the more basic needs in Maslow's Hierarchy. In summary, this parent thinks a child is ready to be independent and make their own decisions when they go to university. He also thinks that studies can change someone's life quite significantly so, he is quite serious when it comes to studies.

Comparing the two sets of data, all of the main answers are different. Some are similar like the part about children moving out but most are vastly different. They might be very different because of the huge age gap between the two people and the different kinds and amounts of experience they have had in life.

In conclusion, the views of both subjects about what a child should do and act are very different. With the data, children might now be able to more effectively communicate with parents. That might reduce the number of disagreements between the child and the parent. When interviewing for this research, I could have asked for more details on all the points. A clearer audio recording of the interview would have been beneficial for the accuracy of the automatic transcriptions. That would have saved a lot of time that could have been used to improve something else.

- Mcleod, S. (2022, November 3). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html